Lives change. People change. Relationships change.
Many people get married and have kids. But for those of us who haven’t entered wedded bliss yet; it is hard to keep those relationships going. I used to have a best friend. Even through her first marriage I was a BFF. We went shopping, ran errands and took the kids trick or treating. I was her cheerleader during her divorce. I saw her through a couple boyfriends and then helped her choose her wedding date with her current husband. He is good for her and treats her like a queen. It is a good match and a good marriage. I am happy for her and her kids. Her husband is her best friend and that's the way it should be.
Her marriage and current job are fulfilling to the point where I feel I am no longer needed in her life. We no longer talk on the phone daily, weekly or even monthly. Now contact is a few times a year; even though we only live 40 minutes apart. Emails & texts don’t get responded to, phone calls don’t get returned. Plans we make get cancelled. I think maybe I did something to offend her but I really have no idea what I might have done.
Am I feeling sorry for myself? Yeah, a little. But I miss my friend. I’m sad that it appears she doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t have a huge circle of close friends and lifelong friends are hard to come by. I’ve never judged her. Ok. That’s not true. I have. We all judge people; whether it is verbal or we keep it inside. A couple things we just agreed to disagree. Though, I sometimes feel judgment from her for some of my choices. Or maybe I misunderstood the tone in her voice. I don’t know anymore.
I want to be able to share with her the A I got in class. The credit cards I just paid off. The funny thing that happened at work. The cool, amazing new boss! Celebrating the huge victory of choosing a salad over pizza for lunch. I miss being able to pick up the phone and start talking mid-sentence because I know she is watching the same TV show. I want to be able to sit down over a warm plate of Cheese Fries from Training Table and catch up on the events of our lives.
I realize that if I were married a lot of this emotional co-dependence would be directed towards that. But I don’t think all of it would be. There should always be room in your life for friends. But people change and that is the way it should be. If we stayed the same, life would be boring. It’s just sad to grow apart to the extent that you feel like you lost a friend. I just wonder if she feels the same way?
